Melancholia

 Out there in pursuit of the best All desires innate, Peeping through the bars, At what lies beyond the gate If there's no struggle There's not an inkling of hate But I've just been working, I know not what lies in my fate It takes a true man to rise, Know not what lurks in the shadows Takes the truly gallant to surmise, Its either glory or the gallows. All hide and cower in denial, In times of turmoil and trial Takes the truly valiant To go the sightless deep. Not the shallows.

  As the sun burns through the midnight skies in crimson, Streaking the horizons with warmth and symphony Eyes glistening at the light looking through the prison, As comes from all over of screams a litany. As hell heaven and earth become one another, And the flames pour and pour, ravaging serenity, The fire scorches the sinners, and kills no other, One who lives to see another morn is a rarity. As the filth of the earth screams and evaporates, The waters become the sands and the drought, All crevices of life become blood and glory, Of the wrath of the gods there is no doubt. The day of judgement drew closer and closer, The day of judgement came nearer. The day of judgement nears no more, For the day of judgement is here.

                                                                        I wade through all in sight, into the solemn night, I and me alone, no lover, no foe in sight All this light consumes me, the dark knows my plight, As I wade through all in sight, into the solemn night. These blinding rays were never pure, The dark was always right, Rue turned to sorrow, sorrow turned to might, Jaded and tired, I delve into the solemn night. The boulder rolled and rolled and rolled, As I pushed with all my might, Looked back and had wants no more, For my love was in sight. With passions anew, thoughts racing galore, I walk into the sunset, pull away from the night, I now dwell in the light, Like a man I face my plight.

  Meeting your ethereal gaze I ponder, Those beads encompass all that is blue.  Lost in chasms of depths untold, A flicker of passion, letting miles unfold of rue. My only moon in constellations of stars, We come from horizons of dusks afar, You screamed out that night, but I did not hark Now I exist in realms of eternal dark. Took many flowers more, just never felt right, But in sorrow and pain, comes dark before light, If only I had known, you would always be in sight, If only you had known of my plight.....

  Through the chilly tempest of woe, Floats through, in misery, an unloved swallow. To jewels, his kin once weighed him equal, Now banished & shivering, he wallows. He soared through the open skies galore, Claiming them his own, Tragedy doth come, with blood and gore, Ravaged were the seeds once sown. The frost bloodied & pierced every tick of the clock, With horrors & emptiness, he came to terms, As he floated downstream to an agonizing stop, He stained the snow red, fell to the worms. That unloved swallow.

Descending down this chasm of pathos, This abyss of misery in this world of post-truth Let go of ideas of hope jovial happenstance, All lies and no ruth, gone are the times of sooth. Exhausted are the joys of the multitude, For the empty but unending pleasures of the few, Where war, wealth and winners, wound like sinews, The preponderance lose, and get not their due. In this chasm of pathos, we'll find our way, Through the abyss of post-truth, come what may. With hope in our hearts, we'll light the day, In the realm of justice, where truths will sway.

I do, not works half done, I love not half lovers, Relish in the rains with reason not, I give, to half givers not Let the winds make habitat in mine every crevice and furrow, Bask in the suns ethereal glow, Trump the moles racing to their burrows, Contend, contemplate, and deviate from the flow.

  Built life upon God's land, The gods hold relevance no longer, Empires rose and fell by this hand, The water and land gazed at with reverence no longer. Fires burn through the trees, Our king offers no penance, In pomp and circumstance, we forget, We do not own, we are tenants. Beguiled to tales of the rising seas, Far-flung tales of the rising sun, Preach that ice shall make the world cease, When truth percolates, the powers that be run.

 In this land where empty hopes dwell, Where lost souls rave and rebel, Delusions of grandeur run unbound, Where love dies unsufficed, ordeals swell. All wants died a death to be spoken of, This bondage winds my soul so rapacious, They care only who I am the son of,  Prominence none, but efforts tenacious. Unsheathing the mighty pen, Draw ink in undying candour, Gripped with bloodthirst, Unleashing anger, boundless rancour .

                                                                             How must I live, Amongst fulfilment so fleeting, Joys so pedantic, In Rancor I am seething. The love of lovers naught, Tales poetic never bred, All that blood was never beautiful, It just stained red Passions flow evermore freely, For in hatred of the kin, No reprimands from the gods, No love, immorality or sin

  Plunged in the darkness of my lowest times, The misfortune of happenstance, Opened the curtains to the brightest fallacy, Fell for hope, a fool's resonance. The sun been fell and riseth enough, My contention always came last, I look to the sky for hope, But the clouds are all overcast Joys of being sink down the trenches, O Lord, my lover doth lied,  All hope now left my clenches, O Lord, my lover doth died.

                                                                                                She walked away, But I ran a million miles Couldn't hear me screaming, I called out a million times The tears dried, hurt kept rife, I took a breath in and sighed She broke free, and felt more alive I wept and wept, and died inside. I thought I loved her forever, Akin a million prize, In truth I loved not her, But a million crafted lies.

  My eyes had been searching, For that perfect morning when The sun rises above the horizon Bringing along some fancy new hope I ask myself again if today is that day Will that journey ever begin, That I'd been waiting all along for Too many pebbles on my way Some seem like human faces Just like a river I move on Ignoring those little stones Breaking out of the loop of misery I feel like a spectator of it now Today I can offer my mind, The clarity and rest it needs

 I gaze into this abyss inside, I stare into this gaping void, All I see is undying plight, An emptiness consuming, day and night   This darkness stares into my soul, Stares and stares till it were no more, Light runs aplenty, like horse and foal, But I am not being, like a burrow with no mole.   This darkness, a ravenous beast, Devours my soul, its hunger increased, Light dances afar, elusive as a shooting star, Yet I remain stagnant, a ship trapped in tar.   I stare at this void agape, Look again, more and more, Thank the uncouth powers that be, For this deranged, rapacious soul

  Choked in solitude I'm reeling, Cold, but I never stopped feeling, Tears dried up, I kept grieving, Lived a nightmare, I was never dreaming. The reaper fears of wrath, For taking such lonely a soul, Not a spark of light, not a single hole, An end the tunnel not hath. Run, run and keep running, Lest the demons catch up faster, Soul purloined by the devil, Burning and screaming in castor.

                                                                 Lost in my dreams, in faraway lore Did not lose myself, only found more The soul yearns, the heart is yet sore, Wandering realms, pleasures galore. Break open the shackles of reality, Afar from the pebbles of affairs mundane, My fantasies no longer a fallacy,  I dream my reality, existence inane. In reveries spun from whispered tales, In pages turned and worlds unfurled, Escapism's enchantment prevails, Unveiling realms where souls are hurled.

  The sands of circumstance wash over,   The tides of time hath no mercy ravage, Waters churn, and come ever so closer, They heal not wounds, they only bandage. The tide scours the waters ever so rapacious, Appear free but not, enslaved by the moon. The act of flowing downstream, courageous, Not every man is endowed with your boon. Time dawns further, the waters take over, The dark sets in, the horizon lower and lower, I lay agape, the tide calmer and slower, I wash away with a smile having tried it all. I did not die sober.

  Through the cracks of circumstance, Our love has begun seeping. You fault me, leaving without a glance, In this vat of guilt I'm weeping. They look to me from afar, And see my eyes gleaming, The tears sparkle in the daylight, No sound and yet I'm screaming. Woke up outside, twas no more morn, Eyes lost in the dark, feeling forlorn, I must condone, I must move on, I still have the stars, I'm not alone.

                                                                                            Duty bestowed as a man, Lies miles above my passions, No plan to change, no change in my plan I seek only to write, but the kids need rations I feel emptiness in this rat race, But ceasing work keeps stomachs empty, It feels so lost in this maze, Oh lord, forgive my naivete at twenty. From your castle atop the hill, You tell me to follow my dreams, I too wish there was a pill, To stop my child's screams Agape bloom the flowers of fate, As my garden remains barren, Spring did not come late, Circumstance plunged to winter

                                                                                I left the phone dangling off the hook By those who once loved me, I am called a crook, Ran back home and the doors were locked, In search of their benevolence, I looked, I look. Informed my dearest love of my return, The loathing in her words, all I could discern, They say love and flowers bloom when cherished, I watered every day, yet not a sliver of concern. Such lies the cruel circumstance, Thusly charged is the scroll, Whether by destiny or by happenstance, I face the wrath of the heavens alone. 

    The man you loved, may have been a knave, but my love was all I had, my love was all I gave. In life, I feared more than death, standing alive at your grave, I take no breath free of the thought, Of the path we could have paved They say distance brings men closer, All you did was drift further away, Why I let you out of my sight, I do not know, nor would I ever say.  The man you loved, may have been a knave, but my love was all I had, my love was all I gave.

  Trapped amongst these castle walls, Lost in the spirit of malevolence, Walking amongst these empty halls, My desires, losing all relevance The joys of life, in steep descent, The echoes of my wants have lost all resonance. This ascent up the stairs, superfluous, Chaste yet, but lost all my innocence. Nascent life must one day concede, Existence is but, of events a farrago, Running from this Bastille, the mind misleads, With purpose I proceed, forever taking heed

 As I sit here, holding this pen, my hands remain still, sheathing my flawed inner workings plagued by utter chaos and emptiness. I will forever cherish these moments we spent together even as they pull me further apart from myself. As the sun falls further and further sweeping the skies with its awestruck crimson hue, the colors dancing beyond the dim horizon, all I wish for is to be in your arms. Our love was not given up on, the lord knows we tried. It blazed all else with its brightness, and slowly faded away, till it was no more. The sun that has risen is the sun that must set. Will it rise again? Perhaps, but we may never know. What I do know is that as the evening wastes away and the day dims further, a million stars gleam across the sky, and all I hope for is to see them through your eyes.  There's no light without dark, no joy without pain. To enjoy the sunshine, you must go through the rain.

  A million lives forever lost in vain, A million emotions held in this tear, Empathy for those ruthlessly slain, Love and hope for those living in fear. The glory of war is nothing but bane, A cause to bring loved ones nearer, The creator struggles to keep one sane, Existence doth never been dearer. Battle is consequential, war is pain,  Families ripped, never to be the same, The purpose of life is no more clear The devil may weep so meagre is the gain.

                                                                                             Fading into the dark,  Now the perfect anecdote for my life,  In unknown lands my destiny parks,  This wound is a bullet, not a knife. All the foes offer is a snark, This black potency is rife, Redemption of brightness has no arc, So compendious is life.

 The moon shone the brightest on our darkest night The night when all our hearts did were loathe I sometimes wish I never let you out of my sight In fear that you may never be my betrothed Replaced the moon with a million stars, But it just never felt right It stings and hurts, love does leave scars Yet I hold on to them tight The day you left was the day I cried, Never had loved ones by my side, Flooded with agony, I died inside, I cried, I cried, I cried and I cried. This awakening of grief, ceases to survive, As I awake from slumber, beside the one I shall wive, Drowning in the depth of those deep blue eyes, I hold you in my arms, now forever you are mine.

  The faults are always mine, There's no accountability Men blamed to their very shrine, Condescension a part of pity. The odds are insurmountable, There shines my indefatigability, The foes lie in wait, uncountable, A horse's strength is mountability. Many want me to stop breathing, But I have far greater perspicacity. In their contempt they are seething, They gravely misjudge my capacity.

                                                                          This battle started the very day I was born, In the time of need, I know the world shall be gone, Took the path not taken, never followed the norm, A sea of lust and desires, toward war I was drawn. Ecstasies unfulfilled, wants, an ever stinging horn, Not a single step closer, so many deaths I have mourned. They all say I do but while and waste ever away, But Victory is near, it may approach any morn. Shattered the walls of my brain, the threat not my brawn, Worked my way miles above the delusionals on the lawn, I have given up all, yet have not a single scorn, This battle started, the very day I was born.

A beauty so mesmerizing, Cloaking over all the trauma, To know the truth so agonizing, That the writer doth left a comma. Every being beeth flawed, The globe innately faulted. The shell may have received laud, For every crack was ever vaulted.  In a world not whole, Packed with cracks and crevices, The broken men's ole, Is made perfection's nemesis

                                                                                                                                                                                          In a world so vast and wide, I am but a lonely soul, An orphaned child with none beside, My heart aching, never whole. Abandoned by those who brought me here, Left to fend for myself alone, No family, no friends, no one near, To call my own, to call my home. In the dark, I cry out in pain, Longing for a warm embrace, But all I feel is cold and rain, As I wander from place to place. The world around me seems so bright, Yet I am trapped in endless night, My heart aching with every sight, Of families holding each other tight. I yearn for love and tenderness, For someone to call my own, But all I find is emptiness, In this world where I am unknown. So I walk this path of sorrow, Haunted by memories of yesterday, Dreaming of a better tomorrow, Where I find a home to stay. But until that day, I am alone, A s

 The ever going trail of water, Moves along ever so slow, In a direction so very certain, On a path of gentle flow. The link of life and water seen, In the dark with its ethereal glow, Going along in it's highs, Moving undisturbed in it's lows. When the journey seems daunting, The only utterance heard, no. Allness returns to the roots, The essence of life's very dough.